“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
These verses of the Bible were not written specifically to encourage marriage; however, they address an issue I will address in this write-up. These verses emphasize the importance of forming a company, and marriage is one of the easiest means of starting one. A whole lot of time, folks get married for different reasons, some as ridiculous as constant sex, as straightforward as reproduction, and as interesting as looks. I think lots of marriages quickly hit a rock because none of these reasons are strong enough to maintain a relationship. I got married on a stronger principle, which is an understanding of the concept of love, based on 1 Corinthians 13:4-13. This portion of the Bible simply broke down the concept of love into understandable elements. It said Love is patient, kind, not envious, humble, not self-seeking, it is respectful, keeps no record of wrongdoings, perseveres, etc. When I came across this portion of the Bible as a young graduate, it shaped my understanding of relationships.
Before I came across this universal definition of love, I had learnt about a book, The Four Loves, by C. Lewis, where he categorized love into Agape, Eros, Philia, and Storge based on relationships. However, upon this revelation, I concluded that love is universal, that it should not be used to define relationships; rather, it is the basis of all relationships. In disagreement with Lewis, I concluded that love can only be Agape.
So the only reason you should marry now is for company. Before you decide to enter into this very important partnership, both partners must have clearly written long-term and short-term goals. The longer the perspective, the better for both parties. You must share these goals with yourselves and find alignment before going into this contract. If there is no alignment, then never form the company. Marriage should be seen more as a business partnership, where both parties have a universally binding goal, to ensure each party has a reason to stay together. When this concept is fully understood, you will realize you do not need money to get married, especially if you do not have to introduce kids into the arrangement. Most especially when you are a resident in a country such as Nigeria, where there is no welfare safety net for families. Two adults with a dream in a partnership can sacrifice when the future destination is clear.
